To Spend and Waste Time

Puppy is confused,  but kind of likes it.

Don’t know why I’m in such a good mood this morning,  but I should just go with it right? 
Spring is finally here, it’s sunny and at 8am already climbing toward 50. That’s the dream people!

Also,  after marathon training,  preceded by half marathon training,  I’m finally almost in possession of a full set of toenails.  Exciting I know.  Although,  I just started training again,  and haven’t gotten new shoes yet. . .

I thought, since my lack of blogging has taken my readership down to perhaps 0, I could share this with out too much fear of bumming a lot of people out.

A really great and wonderful thing happened today, but it’s impossible to just be happy about it. This morning, I called my parent’s house. Not particularly notable as my Dad and I speak 2-7 times a day. At least. But today, for the first time in as long as I can remember, my mom answered the phone. I literally cannot remember the last time she made the connection, pick up ringing phone and say hello. A year ago? A year and half?

She said hello, and it just, sounded like her. She sounded the way she always sounded all of the thousands of times that I’ve called my parents in the decade since I left their house. Of course, she isn’t they way she always was in that decade, and we didn’t really have a conversation. I said “MOM! You picked up the phone!” and she said “Well, I had to!” And I had no answer to that. And then my Dad, who had also picked up the phone, started talking to me about snow and shoveling. At the end I said “GOOD TO TALK TO YOU MOM” and she said “Bye” or nothing. Who can remember. She was back to being her blank self, not her real self.

Which is of course why this “Hello?” is making me happy/sad and worth writing about. For a second she sounded herself, and when will that happen again? Will I ever hear my mother’s voice when I call the house again? Is this the last time that she’ll pick up the phone? Is it the last time that she’ll tell me she loves me? Is this the last time that she’ll remember who I am?

Alzheimers is the worst because everything that’s sad is miserable. And everything that’s happy is sad. Every good thing that happens may be the last time that good thing happens. Every bad thing that happens is just a reminder of where we’re headed.

And now dear reader, I have officially bummed you out. But don’t be sad ok? I’m trying not to be too. My mom picked up the phone today. Maybe tomorrow she’ll say something else to me.

Also,  for valentines day this year,  I took this coy little puppy to the beach.  Greg also 🙂

She now has a lifetime puppy pass to this beach,  so I guess we’re going back.

So, for Lent this year,  I decided to take something on rather than giving something up.  I had originally settled on taking up creativity,  and I had bold ideas of blogging everyday and there were going to be poems and knitting and a novella.  But Lent is only 40 Days people. 
So instead,  I’ve kind of tried to take up balance,  and really putting anything in my life that isn’t zoning out to TV or working.
This has lead to 2 weeks of prioritizing running, cleaning, baking, and ordering of tremendous amounts of yarn from the internet.

Greg and I are back up to running 5 miles for fun.  My parent’s computer room is minus 8 bags of paper (recycled! ) — side note on that,  I found a zillion notes written to me by M. from 8th grade and read every one, as well as various art done by several of you as part of my senior recycling project. My kitchen is intermittently rather messy,  but I have discovered a great brownie recipe (Thanks for the espresso powder Kaydo!!!!) AND a great upside down pineapple cake recipe. 

I’ll keep you posted as things develop 🙂

Also, here’s what my puppy thinks of all activities which do not involve petting her and/or playing with her:

She worked her own ear to get your attention.